Thursday, February 12, 2015

Getting the hang of things

   Well it has been two weeks since we brought home our littlest princess and boy have our lives changed! Who knew a heart could be filled with so much love and joy at a time, while simultaneously being conflicted with so many other emotions?! 
   I am pretty sure I have gone through every emotions possible in the last two weeks with both girls at different times. However there are occasionally moments like you see in the top picture where my heart is just bursting with love for them both and overjoyed at the sweetness coming from Sadie for her baby sister. This last week though I have more times than not wanted to run away to a hole with a large glass of wine and cry for days! 
  Quinn has had a hard week with tummy issues getting adjusted to new formula and had her days and nights mixed up, which made for one exhausted mommy because Sadie stopped napping a year ago so no naps for me during the day unless daddy is home. Poor Sadie has had a hard time trying to figure out her new role as big sister so there have been quite a few days of terrible behavior. And when I say terrible I mean she made me cry on multiple occasions, there were things being thrown at me, plenty of "You're not my parent anymore", "I am not listening to you", "You make me mad", "I quit", and other mean things shouted at me. Everything shy of the dreaded "I hate you's" and the "I don't love you's" was yelled at me I am sure of it. I understood that this was her way of making sure we still loved her even though we brought home a new baby but gosh finding the line between when to discipline and when to ignore the behavior was really hard. We wanted to make sure that she knew her behavior was unacceptable but that we loved her regardless. So there was a lot of talks and tears and hugs but I think we are all finally settling in to our new family dynamic. Thankfully I was given an adorable Moby wrap that has been a life saver! I have been able to get housework done, cater to Sadie, and cuddle Quinn all at the same time! Honestly I don't know how I would get by if it wasn't for this thing! I am totally addicted to baby wearing now!
      ***Example of crazy day story: Monday Scott had a team dinner for work in Charlotte so we decided to go apartment hunting and he wanted to take the girls so that some of his co-workers could meet them. (He is a proud daddy) Anyway the day was going great and the girls were perfect everywhere we went. We had even set a game plan for dinner. The dinner was at Chick-Fil-A so we were going to get there a little early and go ahead and eat and then once the meeting started I was going to take the girls to the play area and let Sadie play as a reward for being so good. Well that went as planned until about 15min in to Sadie playing she decides after months of being completely potty trained to start pooping in her pants. So I am grabbing her, Quinn, and a diaper bag running as quickly as I can to the bathroom, trying not to show how furious and embarrassed I am.  I get Sadie on the toilet and her finished going to the bathroom, as I am trying to clean her up I realize that I don't have a change of clothes for her. Of course I don't have a change of clothes she has been completely potty trained for months with no problems. So in this moment I text Scott to let him know what's going on and begin trying to figure out what to do. I decide that I am throwing away the underwear and she is just going to be in her leggings which had minimal amounts of poop that I wiped off the best I could. So as we are calming down and getting ready to walk back to the play area Quinn projectile vomits all over the bathroom floor! Yeah it happened, can't make this scenario up. I clean up what I can and let an employee know that the floor may need to be mopped as well as apologize many times for my child's vomit. We finally get back to the play area and I explain to Sadie that she is not in trouble for having an accident but that she cannot play on the playground because she doesn't have underwear on and there are too many germs, etc. I offered my phone for her to play on but that did not sit well with her. So for the next 45min I endured the hatefulness of mean words, noises, stomps, and anything else she could think of to make sure I knew she was mad. Once we left I all but cried all the way home! It was a hard ride home with long talks mostly Scott assuring me that I am not a terrible mom and that things will get better.***
  In the midst of the chaos Scott had two days that he didn't have to be at work until the evening so we went apartment hunting and well that just added to the anxiety. We found one apartment that we could maybe possibly afford providing I could significantly increase my income. On Tuesday we went out for the second day apartment hunting, without the girls, after no success we had a nice lunch out and discussed all of our options. We decided to go back and talk with our apartment complex about our lease options since we are due to renew at the end of March. After talking we decided that the best thing for us is to stay put for another year. We figured this would give me a chance to get back in the swing of things with the girls and working and for us to know what kind of budget we will really be working with. 
     On Wednesday things finally began calming down even though we had to take Quinn for her 2wk check up I felt a huge weight lifted. It was a busy day but I knew I no longer had to worry about packing up an apartment and figuring out how we would be able to afford a new place. Sadie I believe also felt that I was less stressed because she has been great, she acts like she likes me now, and has been super sweet with Quinn. 
    Quinn's check up went great! She is now 7lbs 14.5oz and 20.5in long! She is in the 40th percentile for her weight and 63rd for her weight. She is very alert and has amazing muscle tone! She even posed for a picture in the middle of her check up!

  Yesterday I believe with the help of her doctor visit, Quinn got back on track with her days and nights and was asleep by 10pm and only woke up once in the middle of the night to eat. It was glorious! Also her umbilical cord stump finally fell off so we get to give her a real bath tonight and I am super excited about it and so is Sadie!! 

   Now that things are calming down and settling into a routine I am excited about how life with two girls is going to be. Especially now that we aren't moving quite yet, things won't be disrupted and we won't have to completely start over! 


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