Getting the hang of things

   Well it has been two weeks since we brought home our littlest princess and boy have our lives changed! Who knew a heart could be filled with so much love and joy at a time, while simultaneously being conflicted with so many other emotions?! 

   I am pretty sure I have gone through every emotions possible in the last two weeks with both girls at different times. However there are occasionally moments like you see in the top picture where my heart is just bursting with love for them both and overjoyed at the sweetness coming from Sadie for her baby sister. This last week though I have more times than not wanted to run away to a hole with a large glass of wine and cry for days! 

  Quinn has had a hard week with tummy issues getting adjusted to new formula and had her days and nights mixed up, which made for one exhausted mommy because Sadie stopped napping a year ago so no naps for me during the day unless daddy is home. Poor Sadie has had a hard time trying to figure out her new role as big sister so there have been quite a few days of terrible behavior. And when I say terrible I mean she made me cry on multiple occasions, there were things being thrown at me, plenty of "You're not my parent anymore", "I am not listening to you", "You make me mad", "I quit", and other mean things shouted at me. Everything shy of the dreaded "I hate you's" and the "I don't love you's" was yelled at me I am sure of it. I understood that this was her way of making sure we still loved her even though we brought home a new baby but gosh finding the line between when to discipline and when to ignore the behavior was really hard. We wanted to make sure that she knew her behavior was unacceptable but that we loved her regardless. So there was a lot of talks and tears and hugs but I think we are all finally settling in to our new family dynamic. Thankfully I was given an adorable Moby wrap that has been a life saver! I have been able to get housework done, cater to Sadie, and cuddle Quinn all at the same time! Honestly I don't know how I would get by if it wasn't for this thing! I am totally addicted to baby wearing now!

      ***Example of crazy day story: Monday Scott had a team dinner for work in Charlotte so we decided to go apartment hunting and he wanted to take the girls so that some of his co-workers could meet them. (He is a proud daddy) Anyway the day was going great and the girls were perfect everywhere we went. We had even set a game plan for dinner. The dinner was at Chick-Fil-A so we were going to get there a little early and go ahead and eat and then once the meeting started I was going to take the girls to the play area and let Sadie play as a reward for being so good. Well that went as planned until about 15min in to Sadie playing she decides after months of being completely potty trained to start pooping in her pants. So I am grabbing her, Quinn, and a diaper bag running as quickly as I can to the bathroom, trying not to show how furious and embarrassed I am.  I get Sadie on the toilet and her finished going to the bathroom, as I am trying to clean her up I realize that I don't have a change of clothes for her. Of course I don't have a change of clothes she has been completely potty trained for months with no problems. So in this moment I text Scott to let him know what's going on and begin trying to figure out what to do. I decide that I am throwing away the underwear and she is just going to be in her leggings which had minimal amounts of poop that I wiped off the best I could. So as we are calming down and getting ready to walk back to the play area Quinn projectile vomits all over the bathroom floor! Yeah it happened, can't make this scenario up. I clean up what I can and let an employee know that the floor may need to be mopped as well as apologize many times for my child's vomit. We finally get back to the play area and I explain to Sadie that she is not in trouble for having an accident but that she cannot play on the playground because she doesn't have underwear on and there are too many germs, etc. I offered my phone for her to play on but that did not sit well with her. So for the next 45min I endured the hatefulness of mean words, noises, stomps, and anything else she could think of to make sure I knew she was mad. Once we left I all but cried all the way home! It was a hard ride home with long talks mostly Scott assuring me that I am not a terrible mom and that things will get better.***

  In the midst of the chaos Scott had two days that he didn't have to be at work until the evening so we went apartment hunting and well that just added to the anxiety. We found one apartment that we could maybe possibly afford providing I could significantly increase my income. On Tuesday we went out for the second day apartment hunting, without the girls, after no success we had a nice lunch out and discussed all of our options. We decided to go back and talk with our apartment complex about our lease options since we are due to renew at the end of March. After talking we decided that the best thing for us is to stay put for another year. We figured this would give me a chance to get back in the swing of things with the girls and working and for us to know what kind of budget we will really be working with. 

     On Wednesday things finally began calming down even though we had to take Quinn for her 2wk check up I felt a huge weight lifted. It was a busy day but I knew I no longer had to worry about packing up an apartment and figuring out how we would be able to afford a new place. Sadie I believe also felt that I was less stressed because she has been great, she acts like she likes me now, and has been super sweet with Quinn. 

    Quinn's check up went great! She is now 7lbs 14.5oz and 20.5in long! She is in the 40th percentile for her weight and 63rd for her weight. She is very alert and has amazing muscle tone! She even posed for a picture in the middle of her check up!

  Yesterday I believe with the help of her doctor visit, Quinn got back on track with her days and nights and was asleep by 10pm and only woke up once in the middle of the night to eat. It was glorious! Also her umbilical cord stump finally fell off so we get to give her a real bath tonight and I am super excited about it and so is Sadie!! 

   Now that things are calming down and settling into a routine I am excited about how life with two girls is going to be. Especially now that we aren't moving quite yet, things won't be disrupted and we won't have to completely start over! 

   

Quinn's Grand Entrance

    Well on the morning of Monday, January 26, I went in for my final check up and was ecstatic to find out that I had progressed to 3cm and 80%! My doctor scheduled my induction for the following Thursday (the day before Chelsea's wedding) and was nice enough to strip my membranes in hopes of getting things going without the induction. I went to mom & dad's fully expecting to be dying of cramps and wanting to die and taking a nap. Instead, the contractions started, I was trying to keep moving in hopes of them getting regular (it never happened). At about 5:00 I had gotten irritated and we decided to go home so that I could take a bath, relax and go to bed. The pain just kept getting worse but they wouldn't get regular but by 8:00pm I could not take the pain any longer, we called and had Jonathan and Jake come and sit with Sadie while I went to the hospital for some pain relief. Of course upon getting there they checked me and there was no more progress. I told them all I wanted was pain relief because I knew I wasn't in labor, however the dreaded 1hr walk came just in case. At 11:00pm after an hour of walking I had progressed to between a 4 and 5 and before I knew it I was being admitted. Scott and I were both in complete shock. We had no intention of staying, we expected a shot and to be sent home with a "better luck next time". So the calls and texts went out to adjust our arrangements for Sadie and then before we knew it the labor crew was there (both of our Mom's, Chelsea, Dad, and Swain)! They started my IV of fluids and antibiotics (I had Group B Strep) and then they gave me some useless IV pain meds that did nothing but make me dizzy because I was technically not in active labor so I had to wait out my epidural. After an hour I had progressed to a 6 and 90% and I informed them that someone would be seriously injured if I did not get my epidural in time! Finally the epidural guy came and of course it took like 15min to get the dern thing in, thankfully my Daddy was able to run by the hospital and be with me for that because I would have lost it if he wasn't there! After that it was time to get some rest, well try to anyway, it's kind of hard when every 2hrs you are being poked and prodded and having to puke every few hours because your body doesn't like labor, but I am pretty proud of how much I made myself rest. At about 8:30am my doctor came in to check my and I was at a 8 but my water still had not broke. She had to go preform a surgery and said she would come back and break my water and we would have a baby, let me just tell you that was the longest hour of my life!!! Of course as soon as she came back I started throwing up again but my water broke on it's own during all that and I made it to a 10 and was ready to push! I started pushing at 9:51am and she was here at 9:54am! It was very fast and exciting and easy, thank goodness, a massive weight was lifted off my shoulders once I heard her cry.
     We were there for 2 nights and she did amazing! As most of you know attempting breastfeeding again was very important to me. While in the hospital she started out great and then ended up getting pretty jaundice, so she was put on a very strict eating schedule which my body and her were not tolerating very well. She was having trouble latching and my body was having trouble producing enough for her to eat every two hours. She began getting very upset, causing gas issues every time she had to eat because of the trouble latching even with a shield and assistance. Once home I attempted to pump for her and at first it was going great. As the day went on my body just kind of gave up. In the middle of the night I had to decide what was best for her and her health. Her jaundice was getting worse and my heart was breaking having to come to the realization that my body was not made to breastfeed. I had a mini meltdown and then picked myself up and made her a bottle of formula, just praying the whole time that she would tolerate it because I remember how hard it was switching Sadie to formula and I just didn't want to take her back to the hospital. I got both of us as calmed down as I could and took a deep breath and gave her the bottle, she took it with ABSOLUTELY NO PROBLEMS!!!! I was so excited I started crying all over again! My littlest princess was such a trooper, she had to go through breast, shield, pumped milk, and formula before we got everything figured out.
     Not only did she hang in through the feeding issues but the very next day after coming home from the hospital we spent all day out. We couldn't bare to miss my little sister getting married! I was pretty proud of all 3 of us girls (Daddy was at work) we did pretty good all day. The wedding was so sweet and the reception was also great. It did hit me about half way through the reception that I had just given birth 3 days prior so Quinn and I spent a lot of time resting in my parents room which was okay by me.
      On Monday she had her first weight check/meet the doctor appointment. At the same time Sadie had an appointment for her allergies, and she is getting put on a second medication for that and will be doing allergy testing soon. Quinn did great as well, she was discharged from the hospital at 7lbs even and on Monday she was back up to 7lbs 5oz so she is doing awesome and her jaundice is completely gone, which was a huge relief to me. Her pediatrician (that we absolutely love by the way) assured me that I made the right decision to switch her to formula. She also said that Quinn was extremely strong and had great muscle tone. Sadie was the same way, both my girls came out holding their heads up. We go back on Wednesday for her 2wk well check.
      Sadie has been doing great with her. She is a little over excited still and is just scared she is going to miss something so she has gotten herself in trouble quite a few times but I know as time goes on she will calm down once the "newness" wears off. My mom and the amazing person she is came over and spent a few nights with us so I could get use to having 2 kiddos since Scott was unable to take time off. I swear without that woman I would be lost. She helped me unclutter and organize which was probably the biggest help of all! She went back home today so we shall see how we do on our own!
     Overall I am super excited about life with 2 precious little girls! Everyone is adjusting really well and my body is bouncing back wonderfully! Now we are on to our next adventure which will be apartment hunting. Our lease is up next month so we have to get on the ball preparing for our big move to Charlotte!!!

While waiting on my next post you can enjoy some pretty cute pics of my girls!!